


you notice me

by orphan_account



Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Domestic, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Past Character Death, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: King and Ram, and a bit of their life.
Relationships: King/Ram (My Engineer)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 86





	you notice me

**Author's Note:**

> Late night posting for me never goes well, but here I am, anyway, listening to them tunes, ya know?

_The window crashes through, the scattered remains of the window are all around him. They’re pieces, big chunks that King didn’t know they could turn into. He always imagined if the glass would break on a cup or a window, or a car window like right now, that they’d be small fragments, skinny, and sharp. But these are big, thick, and everywhere. There’s so many. There’s no big ones, or too small, just enough, and they’re splattered with his mother’s blood. His chest feels like it’s caving in on himself. He can’t breathe._

_He sees the smoke rise up, but what’s right in front of him is hard to see, the smoke is dark gray and a stream. It doesn’t curl up, it rushes out, and the hand that’s in front of him is reaching out for him, but he can’t reach. He tries with all his might but his mom is too far away, and still he looks and her face is full of bone and blood. She tries to speak but King can’t hear her. Her hand is cold and his panic makes everything boom._

_“King…”_

“King…”

He startles awake, eyes wide and full of a shine that’s anything but joyful. He looks around to see his mother. To see her face but he’s left with nothing. She’s not here, there’s no glass scattered around him. There’s nothing but the burn of cold on his hand, as though ice was left there. He feels the panic lessen but the sadness and grief sets in all the same. He looks down into his lap, the soft glow of a lamp illuminating his hands so that he can see for sure that there is no ghost hand attached, nor any blood either.

He’s still staring at his hands when he feels one on his shoulder it shocks him, he startles and looks up to his recent roommate, and more, Ram. He moves his hand as soon as he sees how much it affects King, his eyebrows dipping into concern and King tries to smile, to shake it off, but it’s hard, even though he’s used to it.

“Sorry for waking you up, Ai’ning.” They’re dating, that much is clear, but King still reverts to his old nicknames for the younger man, even if he’s added a few more newer ones too. The old ones roll of his tongue easy and familiar.

Ram is staring at him but he shakes his head to indicate that it’s no trouble. That he’s not angry and that King doesn’t need to be sorry. King smiles at him for that and reaches out because he knows it’s Ram. He knows he has nothing to worry about. His hand dips onto his shoulder and as soon as Ram feels it, he’s moving his own hand to encase King’s. The feeling is warm and solid, and his heart starts beating faster for a different reason now. King pats over top with his other one and half turns to Ram, trying to smile again as he says, “I get bad dreams too, remember? I’m fine, cool boy.”

But Ram doesn’t seem to buy it, and truthfully neither does King. In his usual silent way, Ram reaches out a hand fanning across King’s cheek. Cupping his jaw as gentle as a summer’s breeze, as though he were something not from this world. Something amazing in those books Ram reads all the time. The end of the quest, the last good sun, the jewel that saves them all. The way he looks at him is so similar to that too that it feels like King is drowning in it. In him. In Ram. His heart is a mess, and even though he doesn’t blush as much as Ram he can feel his cheeks heating up.

King cups his hand over Ram’s on his cheek and presses into the warmth of it before he presses himself into Ram. It’s as much for King’s sake as it is for Ram’s. King knows now more than ever how much Ram needs to feel him to feel at ease when he feels worried or upset. How it helps him, but it’s not an entirely unselfish endeavour because he still feels himself shaking. He still feels the cold touch on his hand and the bones biting into himself as he tries to breathe around them. Broken. Mangled. Glass scattered.

“Shh…” Ram murmurs, and he’s not exactly speaking, it’s more of a breath let out from his lips, but it helps. King’s face tucks into where his neck and shoulder meet. Ram’s nose nuzzles into his hair much like a dog would, and that leaves its own shiver. He’s glad he didn’t get to that part of the nightmare, but this is Ram. He’s not of scared him. He trusts him, and likes him, and he’s his friend as much as anything else. An enigma of a person that King feels like he’s constantly trying to figure out, even if Ram says that he gets him already. He does, but there’s always more. Always.

King knows that if it wasn’t so late Ram might talk a little more, call him the sweet names that King always gets too flustered at, but it is late. He can see his book half open on his side of the bed’s nightstand. He was reading. Reading before King fell asleep too. He wasn’t wrong when he said that King wasn’t the only one who has nightmares, King has woken Ram up himself a few times, pressed into him and keeping him center, and calm. He’d hold his hand tightly and leave soft kisses along his cheek and jaw until Ram would look to him, tears that don’t fall but are unmistakably there in his eyes. He’d usually stare at him for a while longer, something in his expression that King still doesn’t understand (and yes that bugs him beyond belief), but then he’d bring King close. Press impossibly tight against him and fall asleep with a shaky breath of exhale.

Now, Ram runs his fingers through King’s hair, pushing it back with gentle fingers and a breath that almost tickles on his forehead. “I’m fine,” King feels like he has to reassure again. Feels too much like he’s relying on Ram. Feels too much.

Ram’s fingers tighten ever so slightly in his locks and King gulps, because he’s knows what he’s trying to say without needing to say it.

_‘It’s okay not to be.’_

Encased in Ram’s warmth and other nice things, King drifts off back to sleep.

-

In the morning King makes himself a cup of tea and a cup of instant coffee for Ram. He doesn’t have a coffee machine, but he knows how much Ram likes the stuff and since his birthday is in two weeks, he already has the gift picked out. He also has a plant named Nera he’s been growing too, but he’s not sure if Ram will understand the meaning behind her, he hopes he does, it would feel weird not to give her to him. For now though, it’s instant or tea, and King knows he prefers instant in the morning. He was still sleeping when King left for his balcony. He knows that maybe he should have stayed, he sort of wanted to. The feel of his arms around him, nothing can compare, but he needed some fresh air. Needs some perspective.

The dreams don’t always happen, but when they do it feels a hollow ache somewhere in King’s chest. Almost like he can still feel the bones of his ribs broken, the blood pouring in, but he knows that didn’t come until later. His hand rests against his chest, travelling onto his shoulder as he feels the slightly raised flesh underneath. He didn’t get to that part in the dream, but he feels the pain there all the same, the phantom ache as he reaches his hand out and stares at the residue of snow and ice on it that only he can see.

“King?” Ram asks and it startles King but he turns around all the same, relaxing when he sees his- his boyfriend. His hair is down, fluffy and smooth, and his eyes are squinting up at him tiredly, coffee in hand as he looks to King with worry. He rubs the sleep away and King’s never wanted to kiss him more. He feels the familiar urge to push it away and turn away, because Ram is his friend and he’s not supposed to feel that way, but then they spent the night in the tent. King had too much to drink and they kissed, and Ram remembered. Ram felt the same. Ram feels the same, King reminds himself. They’re dating.

His heart flutters and he nods in acknowledgement of his boyfriend, suddenly a little flustered and unsure. Should he kiss him? Is that what people do in the morning? Or should he wait? He wants to kiss him but what if Ram doesn’t want that? He could ask, and King’s never had a problem with asking anything, but this matters so much more now. So much more is on the line and he feels a little lost. A little off foot about it all. He’s always been the voice of reason, knowing what to do, but-

“Thanks.” Ram leans over and kisses him softly on the cheek while King has his internal debate. It leaves his mind all fuzzy and his heart pounding louder than Ram’s footsteps. He looks up to Ram and he knows what he’s saying, and King really wants to touch his lips with his. He’ll taste coffee and sleepiness. He’ll taste warmth and maybe even Ram’s own heartbeat.

He kisses him. He reaches out and touches his cheeks, pulling him in so that their lips can slot together perfectly. It’s nothing more than a few seconds but when King pulls away Ram is red and wide eyed, awake completely. Coffee cup almost tipping over. King smiles. “Don’t drop the coffee, cool boy.”

Ram half snaps out of it and looks down at the coffee cup before setting it over on a nearby small table where King’s latest spider plant lives. He then reaches out, hand on King’s hip and one on his neck, half on his jaw as he brings King closer. Eyes screaming with want, and something softer too. It scares King with how much he wants this, wants too, and feels. His heart grows as he gulps with wide eyes, mouth suddenly dry.

“Cool boy?” He asks weakly.

“Tease.” Ram says, a hint of a smile on his lips now that King can’t help but match.

“I don’t hear you complaining.” King says back cheekily, unable to help it. Ram doesn’t say anything back, but he keeps King close, wanting, almost like two magnetics drawn together. King can’t wait forever though, he’s never been good at being patient when it comes to Ram. Couldn’t even keep his feelings hidden for more than a few months. “What? Not going to kiss me now? Did you lose your nerve, _baby_?”

The endearment is new, and King means it just as much as he says it to get Ram going. It works surprisingly fast as he feels that heat engulfing him, those lips pressed into his, opening him up. His back hits the wall and it’s dirtier than King was expecting, but he’s not complaining, and maybe just maybe he wanted it like this too. Ram presses his leg between his and King is getting hard, and shit, a siren passes by and he realizes that they’re on the balcony. He pulls away, and Ram looks confused, a little hurt.

“We’re going to be late.” King tells him in way of explanation, but he adds quickly, because he hates the hurt in Ram’s eyes, “Neighbors don’t need to see you blowing me on the balcony. I don’t want us to get kicked out.”

He feels a little embarrassed and regretful about what he said, like it was the wrong thing to say, but as he walks back inside he feels the heated gaze of Ram on his back the whole way in, and he likes it. He likes it a lot. Seems they both do. Seems it was the right thing to say after all.

He has a long shower that morning, and so does Ram, but neither of them talk about that, yet.

-

“Why did you want to meet here?” King asks, truly perplexed because this is way off from the area of their campus. It’s not even close to their condo, so why did Ram bring him here for lunch? It’s not a bad place to eat or anything, it’s a small little stall half outside like their usual place. The food looks good but it’s not spectacular.

Ram looks at him as though he should know but doesn’t say anything. He reaches down for his phone ready to send a message most likely, but he never gets that far. Just as he turns it on a familiar voice calls out, “Ram!” It’s Ruj. He walks into the restaurant, school uniform on and backpack on his shoulders. It hits King now why they’re here. It’s close to Ruj’s school, and Ram wanted to meet him, with himself.

King hadn’t really thought about it he’s ashamed to admit, but Ram hasn’t seen his brother much at all. His mother even less so since he moved out, and it must be eating at him. If his camera roll is anything to go by they’ve always been close, not to mention the protective tone Ram gets when talking about him, and vice versa when Ruj came to their campus to make sure Ram was okay. King and his sister are pretty similar in how protective they are of each other, but there’s always been a distance between them that makes their relationship a little difficult at times.

“Hey, Ruj, how are you?” King asks politely as Ruj nods at him and hugs Ram tightly. King watches as Ram hangs on just a little bit tighter before letting go.

“I’m good, P’King, it’s nice to see you again.” He says as they all sit down at the small table. “How are you?”

“I’m pretty good.” King isn’t lying, and as he says it his eyes drift to Ram, because he is happy. Happier than he’s been in a while. He’s been alone a lot in his life and he likes it just fine, but having more than that, is so different, so big and wide in his heart that he feels like he’s drowning in it just as much as he is more alive because of it. His heart feels better, lighter, and full of something that’s as close to love as he’s ever felt, but it’s mostly the smaller things. The coffee and tea in the morning. The soft press of lips between talking. The warmth of Ram’s thigh under King’s head as he rests it there while they watch TV, usually it’s his nature documentaries, but sometimes it’s Ram’s adventures. The space they now live in, share in, and created together.

“How are your classes?” Ram asks him, his eyes on his brother, and his words long and plentiful. It leaves King with a pang of jealousy that he can’t help but feel, even if there’s guilt because of it afterwards. Ram talks to him, sure, but only a word or two at a time. He wants more. Wants Ram to trust him, but he’s also content without it, but there are moments like these where the shame courses through his veins, and the guilt for wanting more. Ruj is his brother, of course he talks a lot with him. It’s the way it should be.

“Good, P’, I’ve got A’s and B’s.”

Ram smiles with pride and shuffles Ruj’s hair with his hand that leaves Ruj happier because of it and at the clear approval.

Ruj looks from his brother though, to King, more serious as he says, “Thanks for letting my brother stay with you.”

King feels sudden brotherly affection for the kid. He’s never had a brother himself, just his sister, but he’s always wanted one. Thought it would be cool when he was younger to have one following him around.

King smiles. “It’s no problem.” It really isn’t. He likes waking up to Ram’s bed hair. He likes making him coffee, and doing homework together. He likes eating together and cooking together. He likes the feel of Ram pressed up against him. The tug of his heart, the smile on his lips whenever he sees him, and the safety that comes with not waking up alone in fear. The affection that is shared. Even the dogs in the other room do nothing to diminish how having Ram in his condo with him, (making it their condo) makes him beyond happy.

“I’m glad he has a friend like you.” Ruj continues, and King goes to agree but Ram doesn’t let him.

“He’s also my boyfriend.” Ram says, eyes on his brother, leaving no room for him to see King’s surprised slightly panicky expression. What is he doing? Is he telling him? Are they telling people now? Sure, all their friends know, but that’s different than their family.

“Oh.” Ruj says, face surprised but then he’s smiling again. “Cool.”

Ram smiles too, and King tries to, but he can’t, not completely. But he tries, and he’s pleasant throughout the meal. He makes conversation with Ruj and lets Ruj and Ram catch up, but he doesn’t talk to Ram like he usually does, and when Ram talks to him, his responses are cool. His words are cold, but inside he’s a little warm. A little heated. Just a little bit angry.

They say goodbye to Ruj, and when they get back to their condo, King goes out onto the balcony and smiles, a little more at peace in the cool air and company of his plants. The fire just a little bit diminished.

“Hey guys,” he says to his babies, “Did you miss me?”

-

King stays out on the balcony far longer than usual. He has other plants, more plants inside but he doesn’t want to run into Ram. He’s never been good at confrontation, even though he knows if it were Boss, or Bohn, he’d be telling them to just talk to their partners. To not avoid them or leave it alone, but he needs a few minutes. He needs to breathe and think, and soon enough he’s just a little bit afraid. He’s about to go inside, ready to tell Ram what’s bothering him, but Ram beats him too it like usual.

He opens the door and steps outside. His eyes are sorry and he’s upset himself. He looks like he wants to reach out and touch him, but Ram never does. He stays standing there silent and stoic, and King takes a breath to say something, because he can see that Ram knows something is wrong, but before he can Ram says, “You’re angry.”

King doesn’t try to deny it, because he is.

“I- I-” Ram tries to say something but his face becomes red, the words locked in his throat as his fingers curl into fists at his side. Anger at not being able to say what he wants. Frustration and lingering pain because of it. It squeezes like a vice around King’s throat as he reaches out to him and despite his anger at him, the worry wins out. He takes one of Ram’s curled fists into his hand and another gently touches his cheek, thumbing rubbing down along under his eye.

“It’s okay, cool boy, it’s okay.”

Ram shakes his head fiercely. His eyes screaming, ‘It’s not! It’s not.’ King can’t help it, it hurts to see him this way. He brings Ram close, pressing his head into his shoulder as he rubs his hand along his back. “I’m not angry that you told him.” King tells Ram as one his hands rubs into his locks of hair that’s already had the gel washed out, fluffy and full of life despite his dampened mood. “I’m only angry that you didn’t talk to me first. I know our friends know, but our family is different, isn’t it?”

He feels Ram nod into his shoulder, unable to say anything and King, shit, he feels wetness on his neck. It’s not at their situation, but at his frustration at himself for not being able to communicate ‘normally’, King knows this just like he knows plants need water to live. He can feel how harshly Ram’s fingers clutch at the fabric of his shirt, the apology bleeding into him through them rather than through the words, and honestly, it makes it more real than words ever could.

“How about next time we talk first, okay? Is that okay?” King asks, hand with his palm flat against Ram’s back, steady and sure.

He feels as Ram nods into his shoulder again, agreeing.

“Okay.” King says. “I might be a little angry though for the next day, but I do forgive you. It’s just, I know my sister is a lot and she thinks a bunch of stuff about us, but I haven’t told her yet.”

King knows he’s waited far too long, but it’s hard for him. His sister is all he has. He knows she’ll be fine, but there’s still that fear. That lingering, ‘what if…’ and he hates it. Hates how if she ever said ‘no’ to him that he’d have no one. She’s his family. Her and her husband, and her kids, and him, that’s all there is. That’s all that accident left them with.

They stay holding each other for a long time, until eventually Ram manages to say, “S- S- Sorry.” And King knows that he means for so much more, but he has no reason to be sorry for anything else. They’ve communicated just fine without words, and they’ll continue to communicate just fine without them in the future. Right now just proved that. And even if King would, he wouldn’t change a thing about Ram, he hopes Ram understands that.

“I know.” King says, because he does know. “You only need to say sorry for not talking about it first.” By talking he doesn’t mean literally, but he thinks Ram gets that, because he nods again against his shoulder before they both pull away slightly.

King slightly shivers as the sun continues to disappear. “Come on, it’s cold out here.”

Ram wraps his arm around King, trying to keep him warm as he pulls him inside quickly, eyebrows drawn down in concern as his face pinches with it. King’s heart aching for it and because of it. No one’s ever shown him that much concern in a long time, reminds him of the trip and his head injury. Feels strange to be worried for when the longest time he worried for himself only. Of course his friends would, but he never let any weakness show, because he doesn’t need them to worry. He doesn’t need Ram to worry either, he can take care of himself, but maybe a part of him wants Ram to worry. Because he worries too, and isn’t that as much a part of love as doing the other’s laundry or kissing, or hugs on hard days?

-

The thing about King’s sister is that she is so much more than what his friends usually see, or Ram for that matter. Yeah, she likes watching boys kiss and that might be a little weird, but King knows that’s just her way of coping. She latched onto those manga’s and sparse movies like they were a life raft in a horrible storm. They kept her grounded throughout the funeral, throughout school, and work, and getting a job, and raising her brother who was only thirteen, herself only nineteen.

She’s always been there for him, but working a full time job to keep the lights on, and going to school to better their lives later was hard work. They had the big house and the land they could have sold but Kumfah refused. It’s been in their family since their great grandparents, so she worked, hard, and it payed off when she got her job. When she found a husband and had two kids. When she paid off the debts and somehow manages to support him too. He owes her everything, but she would never see it like that, and the most important thing about his sister that no one really understands is that she’s it when it comes to family. Her and his plants is all he’s had for so long. Until Ram.

He’s like family too, and King might hate Ram’s dad for the pain he’s caused his boyfriend, his partner but he also has other family. He’s got Ruj and King hasn’t met his mom yet but according to Ram she’s like a blue bird’s song. Then there’s his dogs, like King’s plants to him, and King can’t even be in a room with them. He’s always been content with knowing his whole life will go without dogs in it, but life is funny in it’s cruelty and irony, and it’s always, always unexpected. King can almost smile at it if it wasn’t so dire.

“Oh, King, I missed you.” Kumfah says loudly as she brings him in for a hug. “It’s been so long.”

She pulls back and looks him over frowning at what she sees. “You’re too skinny.”

“I’m the same, sis.” He tells her with a smile. He missed her too.

“Come in. Come in.” She ushers him into the family home and King feels warm at the familiarity of it. He’s glad she kept, but still feels somewhat guilty and responsible for all the toil she’s gone through for it and for him. “Don’t worry, when Ren comes back he’ll cook us a nice big meal.”

“Are the kids with him?” King asks as he sits down at the counter, Kumfah going to the fridge to grab a couple glasses of juice.

“Yeah,” She says with a laugh as she pours the juice into the glasses, “They insisted on going to see the horses he works with.”

She comes back with the glasses and sets them down in front of each other. She sips hers and doesn’t say anything, which is unusual, but when King catches her gaze he realizes she knows. Not about him exactly, but that he came here to say something. Something important. She was always very keen on things like this. King supposes she’s had to be.

“It’s Ram.” King says slowly, setting his glass down a little more shakily than he intended. Before Kumfah can scream or say anything else he adds quickly, “We’re dating now.”

He expects her to screech but she refrains, smiling as wide as possible for a few long moments before letting it loose and running over to bring him into a huge hug that leaves him relieved, happy, and sad all over again. His sister isn’t his mom, no one could ever replace his mom, but there’s times like these where he can almost feel her. A taste of it so close yet too far to grasp. It hurts all the more because of that.

When she finally does pull away, King is both relieved and saddened to see tears in her eyes just as much as he feels them in his own. Kumfah doesn’t let go of him not entirely, she pinches his cheek just a little and tells him softly, “Mom would be proud of you.” King nods at the spike to his heart and she lets go of him, walking back around the counter and taking a long sip of juice. King does the same, but it’s more nerves than anything else because he has more to say. Needs to say more.

“He has dogs, sis, and I- I need to be okay with that.” King says it confidently at first, but his words shift and fall to a barely above whisper. He feels Kumfah’s hand curl around his own as she reaches out for him, concern in her eyes as she asks, “He’s not pressuring you to take them on in is he?”

There’s a fire there, a protective encasement that leaves King scared for Ram’s life, but it’s not why he shakes his head no, disagreeing with her words. He does it because it’s not true. Ram hasn’t pressured him, in fact he’s offered on more than one occasion to take the dogs away, but King told him no. He wants Ram to stay and he knows that means with the dogs, it’s the same with his plants the occasional visits with his sister and nephews.

He takes another deep breath and longer drink of juice before telling her, “I want to go to therapy again.”

It takes everything in him to say that, because he did go once and it was so terrible. So awful that he vowed never to go back again, even when his sister begged him to. Did for years until he turned eighteen and she couldn’t do anything anymore. King feels guilty for that too, but he was fine, is fine, he just- he needs more now. He needs to be okay to move on with his life. To start his own, and this isn’t for Ram, even though he can see in his sister’s eyes that it’s what she’s thinking.

This is for him, and maybe Ram helped him realize it, but this is for him now. For his life. For the life he wants. With Ram.

He takes a deep breath and asks her, “Can you help me find someone?”

-

King reaches around Ram, arms circling around his sides, underneath his arms as he pulls him back against himself. Hugging him from behind. He presses his face into the dark grey shirt he wears and feels Ram’s breath tighten at the unexpected contact. King knows he’s making them some tea, but he can’t help it. He holds him flush against himself and presses into him as close as he can get. His forehead touches the back of his neck, warmth flooding through as Ram drops what he’s holding onto to touch King’s linked hands at his stomach.

“P’King?” He asks, then with a gulp as King doesn’t answer, “Love?”

It startles him, leaves a jolt of lightening that turns to aftershocks of warmth, of affection and heat, and love. They’ve been together for six months now, and it still shocks him to hear that word coming from Ram’s lips, that endearment and gentleness. He wants to hold onto it. He wants to hold onto this moment. He wants to hold onto Ram.

“ _Baby._ ” King whispers with an ache and shake of his words that leaves Ram trying to turn around, trying to get to him, but King keeps his hold. He stands his ground and doesn’t let Ram turn around to see the tears threatening to fall. In turn Ram holds onto his hands tighter. “I went to see a therapist.” King admits, the truth so much easier to speak if no one is looking at him. If he’s not looking. “For my dog phobia.”

Ram makes a noise of protest but King just kisses him on the back of his neck and whispers, “I’m doing it for me, I promise.”

Ram turns then, and King lets him, hands on his cheeks quickly as Ram’s eyes burn into his. He’s looking for something, searching, and King stares back just as intently. Ram licks his lips and King knows what he wants, he wants it too. He brings Ram’s lips down to his own, he’s just a little bit taller than himself but not by much, and they move together. Heated and full of so much more, their lips tangled together.

Much like the balcony a few months ago, Ram presses King gently into the wall, only this time it’s the kitchen wall and it’s a little less rough, and they’re inside. They don’t have to worry about anyone seeing, and they don’t have to stop if they don’t want to. He feels Ram biting down his neck to his collarbone, fingers ghosting along the hem of his shirt but Ram pulls away, eyes full of want as he asks, “Can I?” His voice is deeper because of his arousal and it sends a stab of it down to King’s hardening dick.

King swallows down nervously. He’s never done this before, and he knows Ram hasn’t either. It’s been a few months though, anyone else, even his friends probably assume that they have done this. That they live together and that there’s no reason they shouldn’t have, but King has been scared, unsure when or how to move things forward. Unsure if that’s what Ram wants too, and shit, if it was any of his friends he would tell them to man and talk to their partner. Why can’t he take his own advice?

“Do you want to?” King ends up saying, his voice just a tad bit more vulnerable than he means for it to sound. Ram abandons the edge of his shirt in an instant, hand cupping his jaw as he leans in a little closer and tells him reassuringly, “I always want to.”

He watches as Ram takes a deep breath to gather himself to try say something else, something more, and King is soft in his touch along his hair, down his arm to his hand that he holds tightly in comfort, patient despite how much he wants to push into Ram, his cock demanding attention. He ignores it. They have to be on the same page for this.

“Only if you do.” Ram says finally, eyes closing and then opening to find King’s who smiles, his heart tugging, and his lips reaching up to bring Ram’s back down to his own. He helps him to remove his shirt and King’s breathe hitches as Ram reaches out to touch the scarring along his shoulder. Ram’s eyes are curious but concerned as they find King’s and King is nervous, scared because he doesn’t want to talk about this. He’s not ready, but he still wants Ram to kiss him, he still wants Ram’s hands all over him, and for himself to do the same to Ram.

Ram leans in very carefully, eyes on King in his careful movements as if waiting for him to stop him, but King doesn’t. He lets him press his lips into the marred flesh, feels something align within himself as he throbs all over. His heart beating everywhere. His heart beating with Ram’s. Eventually Ram pulls away to capture King’s lips in his own, a more emotion filled kiss that leaves King exposed but more somehow.

“Come here.” He whispers softly.


End file.
